he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
