Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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