Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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