there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
