trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my sisters under your porch take her home
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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