It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
