i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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