my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
