what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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