i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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