What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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