but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
