some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
