In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
