When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
