I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
