I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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