I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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