Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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