Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
