Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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