Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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