Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
