in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
