Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
