i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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