Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love having hate sex.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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