arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
