The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
