all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
