omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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