i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
