Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
