My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
