Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
