tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
