Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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