the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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