i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
