): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
