Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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