Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
