hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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