I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
worst night to have a conscience
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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