Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
