Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
