last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
