Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize