You're completely useless in the revolution.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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