I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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