He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
