Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
